A worried heart.

Our ultrasound is officially tomorrow. It’s “the big one”. You know, where we get to find out the gender of this little person inside of me. Finally, I can zero in on nursery colors, pick out the name, round out the registry and plan, plan, plan! It’s going to be such a relief to know so I can get to all of the fun stuff, right?

Well, to be honest, I have a worried heart. I can’t help it.

Not only do we find out the gender, but we find out lots of things at this appointment. Is the baby’s brain growing properly, are the arms and legs proportional, is the spine maturing normally – the list goes on. Basically, is my baby ok?

I can’t help but fret. Fret about what I didn’t eat, fret about what I did.  Fret about drinking too much coffee and not enough water. Did I run too much and too hard early on, when I was trying to keep this all a secret? I haven’t felt any movement except for a burble late Sunday night, is that a bad sign? Has there been something, all along, that just didn’t go right when all of those cells were splitting and changing into Life?  All of these questions are swarming around my brain and it makes my heart achey inside.  I’m nervous for Wednesday.  I’m scared.

Even with my heart in my throat, I still pat my Bump and whisper “I can’t wait to see you.”  It’s true, I really can’t.  Whatever happens, it’s going to be alright.

22 thoughts on “A worried heart.

  1. I’m nervous too. But don’t forget: you’re still eating a lot of salads, you’ve gained the exact amount of weight you’re supposed to, and you’re exercising consistently as recommended for a healthy pregnancy.

    We don’t know what the cards hold, but we do know we’ll love our little guy/gal none the less!

  2. I think it’s an expectant mother’s prerogative to worry but what an amazing thing to worry about and an even more amazing thing to rejoice about. Don’t let the worry overshadow the happiness, excitement, joy, and all other good surrounding this amazing life event. xoxox!

    p.s. Nice new blog layout!!

    • You are so absolutely right: shadowing the joy would be such a waste. I’ll keep my head up today! Thank you, friend. xoxo right back.

      P.S. Thank you, me likey this default wordpress theme!

  3. Hugs to you thecandace and SIL. Whatever is in there is yours and ours because you have taken the first step. So go with that. We are going to keep it no matter what. So fret no more girl child. Breathe and smile. Concentrate on how mad you will be at me when I show up at the hospital! Lv mamap AKA Obachon.

    • Thank you. I’m putting the fret aside and trying to live in the moment. Today, we get to see this little family we’ve created. *tears* What could be better than that?

  4. Everything always turns out just the way it’s supposed…and that’s with you two ending up with a perfect little baby…I’ll be thinking about you both tomorrow… :)

  5. I think it’s totally understandable that you’re worried; but try not to let the worry outweigh the joy & excitement. You & Zack are already wonderful parents & Baby is blessed to be born into such a loving home.
    I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow & will be sending you, Zack & Baby G warm thoughts & love

  6. Stop they worrying you silly goose and enjoy every wonderful moment of pregnancy. The “big” ultrasound is the most exciting thing that happens until you are holding that sweet little baby in your arms and finding out you are having a boy or girl is so exciting! I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

    • Mindy, thank you for shifting my focus to the excitement of it all. I feel like I don’t know anything about this little person and today is the first big step to finding out – I must relish this. HUGS.

  7. I know exactly how you feel – I was a wreck the days leading up to our ultrasound and before each of our subsequent ultrasounds. Regardless of what may happen tomorrow (and I am sure it will only be good things) Baby is so lucky to have awesome parents that love him/her to pieces. I know you will worry regardless, but do try to enjoy every moment of your ultrasound and the opportunity to see your little peanut. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Hugs!.

    • We are so similar! I keep promising myself that after each milestone that I’ll just stop worrying and enjoy the ride, but that’s not my way. :) Thank you, thank you, thank you for your love Jenni. You are a good friend to me!!! *tears*

  8. The one constant i have found as a mommy is worry! We worry about everything to do with the little bundles that hold our hearts hostage. They are just that amazingly wonderfully important! Thinking of you guys!! Xoxo

    • Aww, Gina. Isn’t that the truth? I don’t think I can comprehend what worry is in store and I have a feeling that no matter how old our little babies grow up to be, we will always worry. Thank you for thinking of us, it means to so much. So, so much.

  9. Gina couldn’t have said it better. I think it’s natural. I worried through every single day and stage of Brody’s birth journey – did that glass of wine before I knew cause any damage? Did his spine form as it should? Did being on the more generous part of 30 create a problem? And Therese foods to avoid and

  10. Danged Samsung. I wondered where my draft went. Oh well :) worrying is natural and everything will work out great! Wishing you lots of super sweet blue/pink cuddles soonest. xoxo

    • All of those same thoughts clogged my brain too! It’s almost more relaxing to be naive, I sometimes think. Thank you for the cuddles and give Brody the biggest smooch from us!!!

  11. Welcome to the momma worries…but it’s OK. No matter what you are going to be one amazing momma to that little babe! Enjoy each and every moment of your pregnancy!

  12. Pingback: Baby Bump2 Update | the candace

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