Our ultrasound is officially tomorrow. It’s “the big one”. You know, where we get to find out the gender of this little person inside of me. Finally, I can zero in on nursery colors, pick out the name, round out the registry and plan, plan, plan! It’s going to be such a relief to know so I can get to all of the fun stuff, right?
Well, to be honest, I have a worried heart. I can’t help it.
Not only do we find out the gender, but we find out lots of things at this appointment. Is the baby’s brain growing properly, are the arms and legs proportional, is the spine maturing normally – the list goes on. Basically, is my baby ok?
I can’t help but fret. Fret about what I didn’t eat, fret about what I did. Fret about drinking too much coffee and not enough water. Did I run too much and too hard early on, when I was trying to keep this all a secret? I haven’t felt any movement except for a burble late Sunday night, is that a bad sign? Has there been something, all along, that just didn’t go right when all of those cells were splitting and changing into Life? All of these questions are swarming around my brain and it makes my heart achey inside. I’m nervous for Wednesday. I’m scared.
Even with my heart in my throat, I still pat my Bump and whisper “I can’t wait to see you.” It’s true, I really can’t. Whatever happens, it’s going to be alright.