Oh, baby!

Y’all, here it is, Amelie Quinn’s birth story. It’s not overly dramatic. May I tell you about it anyway? It involves bodily fluids (duh) so if that gives you the heebie jeebies, you’ve been warned.

April 11th began like every other day with an early morning trip to the potty. I stumbled around in the dark like I always do and got on with my tinkle business. I was just about ready to crawl back into bed when a funny feeling made me hesitate. This is may be disgusting but I don’t flush in the middle of the night. It’s futile since I’m usually back in there within two hours and the flushing would wake Hubs. So, I padded back to the bathroom and flipped on the light. There was blood in the toilet and lots of it.

Now, it isn’t uncommon to have a little “bloody show” before labor. I wasn’t in pain but things didn’t “feel” right. I roused Hubs. It was 4.45am.

We called in and waited for a doctor to call us back. In the meantime, we both got up and dressed. I sipped on orange juice and started to feel nervous. Turns out, my own doctor was the lucky lady on call that night and she advised us to head to the hospital so she could check things out in person. I asked Hubs to load up our hospital bag just in case.

I’m glad I did.

Just before we left, I snapped a quick pic of my baby bump. Turns out, it would be my last one. *sniffles*

We dropped our taxes in the mail and headed into the hospital, which is only a short drive from our house. In the car ride over, I noticed I was having strong-ish menstrual-like cramps. Was I in labor???


I was admitted to triage and got hooked up to the monitors while we waited for my doctor to check in. Baby Girl was doing fine, her little heart pounding away (big-sigh-of-relief) and I was indeed having contractions.

Miraculously, I had my 39 week baby bump post already written so Hubs uploaded the pic from that morning and published it right from the triage room. How’s that for being a hard core blogger lady?

My doctor arrived a while later (she had just gotten out of surgery) and checked me over to figure out why I was bleeding so much. I was only 3cm dilated and 70% effaced but she suspected a partial placenta abruption: where the placenta tears away from the uterine wall prematurely. That’s bad because the baby gets her nutrients (like oxygen) from the placenta. You don’t want your baby going without oxygen.

We had two options:

  1.  I could continue to labor on my own while being closely monitored. The moment the baby feels any distress, they would perform an emergency c-section.
  2.  I could get the c-section immediately. My doctor was already there. The anesthesiologist was ready to go. Plus, it was perfect timing since I hadn’t eaten anything yet besides a swig of orange juice hours earlier.

Hubs and I discussed. Obviously I wanted to labor in hopes of going about this the natural way. But since I was only 3cm dilated, it was possible that I could labor for a day or more and still end up with the c-section if Baby Girl was struggling. It seemed silly to put her at risk when something was clearly wrong with my placenta. I let go of my ego (of course I cried) and we prepared ourselves to have a baby that morning.

(My boobs actually leaked milk after writing that last sentence!)

They wheeled me into the OR and suddenly I was scared. I know, lots of ladies have had c-sections. My own mother did over 30 years ago. But the thought of having a baby cut out of my body is not something I had given much thought to until I was lying in that bed. And that thought is CREEPY.

(Doesn’t it look like I’m being wheeled in at like 30 mph?)

The anesthesiologist had me slurp down a super sour drink to stop my bowels (more on that later) and then I sat with my legs dangling off the side of the bed so he could administer the spinal tap. I just laid my head on my nurse’s chest while she held me. (NURSES ARE THE BEST). Pretty soon, I was still awake but completely numb from the chest down. They slipped in a catheter (how fun!) and finally I was prepped to meet my little lady.

The c-section went quickly. I was overwhelmed and couldn’t see anything anyway, so I mostly kept my eyes closed.

They had me cut open and Amelie pulled out within 6 minutes! At 10.01am, Amelie Quinn was “on the outside”. (She was not thrilled).

I could hear her but it took a few minutes before I could meet her. She was so little – almost exactly 6lbs.

Hubs brought her over and she looked right at me.

Our first meeting was not what I expected. I thought my heart would burst into itty bitties and be replaced by a whole planet worth of love for this wrinkly, swollen, smushed-nose person. But instead?

A curiosity.

Who are you? What are you all about? Now that we’re a team – a family – what’s that going to be like, you know? I think she was wondering the same thing about me.

Hubs followed Amelie to the nursery while my doctors sewed me up – which took about 45 minutes. I stayed quiet and rested.

But my bowels DID NOT STAY QUIET. The doctors were cordially chatting away when they were interrupted by the loudest, juiciest, most disgusting fart you could ever imagine. The room hushed into an embarrassed giggle.  One of the doctors jokingly took the blame. Since I could feel nothing (nor see), it took a minute to register that…it was me?

“Umm, Doctor? Did I just fart during my c-section?!?” I asked, appalled.

“Yeah, we’re not sure if it was from your anus or your insides. People poop and stuff during labor all of the time so don’t worry!”

You’re not sure if it was from my anus or my insides? Did it smell as horrendous as it sounded? Ohmygod?

I had to close my eyes and pretend it didn’t happen. As it would go, all sense of modesty would get thrown right out the window over the next four days anyway. Do you want to hear about it or have you had enough?


27 thoughts on “Oh, baby!

  1. I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone what an amazing mother you are Candace. Your caring and selfless nature is just who you are, and from the minute that little Amelie made it clear she was ready to come out you did what is natural to you: you put those you love first. I can’t imagine how scary it was to learn of the placental abruption & have the game plan change at the last minute. Words can’t express how happy I am that both you & Miss Amelie are healthy & doing well.
    PS – on the lighter side, I got a really good giggle about the fart because I have a sense of humor like a 12 year old boy.

    • Tai, you blow me away with your sweetness. I wish you could snuggle my little lady – she’d be blessed to know you. One day soon, you will meet – it’s a must.
      I too simultaneously cringe and snorty-laugh when I think about farting in the operating room. Classic Candace.

  2. You are such a funny gal. I lol’ed at McDonald’s. I thought not pooping in front of strangers was a benefit of c-sections, but now I know better. You can’t win, can you?

    • At least Amelie escaped with her non-conehead dignity, while mine dissipated into thin “air”, if you will.

  3. You gave me a good chuckle this morning — what a beautiful, sweet, & funny birth story that you’ll be able to share for years. Reading your thoughts after she was facing you on the outside was interesting because I had similar thoughts. I thought I was suppose to cry my eyes out and be so happy but with Kaylor I was just relieved and exhausted and thought to myself ‘yeah, that’s done’ as I laid back on the bed to rest. Labor wasn’t as I expected with him and I was glad it was over.

    Again, love reading your stories but don’t fret…we understand if there are lags between posts as you snuggle that little babe of yours 😉 Keep on snuggling!

    • I’m so relieved I’m not the only one that felt this way after giving birth – it doesn’t make me feel quite as alienated as a Mom. Even after 7 weeks, Amelie and I still trying to get to know each other. Thanks for being so sweet and indulging me in my birth story (twice!). :)

    • And thank you for encouraging me to keep blathering on about the days postpartum…although you might regret it? Since we don’t have the privacy of a run to spill all of the juicy details, I guess I’ll have to just post it on the world wide web instead. Oh my.

  4. Amelie’s birth went nothing like we expected, but I’m so grateful that everything went well and that I wasn’t in the OR for Candace’s “grand finale.” :)

  5. Haha…you always manage to give me a chuckle! I think it’s interesting to hear/read birthing stories, makes me calmer (if possible) about having my own kids someday…

    • The really awesome thing is that your birth story will be uniquely your own – something very special that no one else has.

  6. What a wonderful birth story and a beautiful ending….well, the arrival and first thoughts before the actual ending to the story. 😉 It is great that you shared your real thoughts – I think that is much more the norm than what we all think we should feel (this is true at birth, 7 weeks, 2.5 yrs….and I’d guess beyond that though I haven’t gotten there yet)! I would venture that if Cinderella ever gets her birth on, even at the castle, her thoughts and reactions would also be much more in line with us real mommies. :) I wondered about that too but a great friend actually told me that the best part was that of course you love them at first but that you love them more every day. Boy was he right….each day you see them and know them, it just keeps growing from that first eyelock. For both of you. ENJOY! Lots of Love and thanks for sharing!!!

    • I love it – I wonder if Cinderella would get stuck with a crappy c-section too!? Each day Amelie and I get to know each other is better than the last. I get all lovey around her -hope she eventually feels the same. Right now she sneezes at me and roots for my boob.

  7. Thanks for sharing your birth story. I love hearing them as they are all the unique way each of those sweet babes come into our lives. I got a really good laugh out of the ending. You and Zach are great parents and Amelie is lucky to have you both. Keep the pictures and exciting stories coming, life with kids just gets more fun everyday!

    • Mindy, you are a sweetie! Isn’t it cool that every birth story is as individual as the baby being born? I’ll keep blogging if you are all willing to read my blabber!

  8. Enjoyed reading your birth story. I love that you and Connie both have the most interesting and hilarious stories to share. I always walk away from reading your updates with a smile on my face. I am so excited that you have reached motherhood in your journey. It is an experience lived day by day. The goal at the end of each day is to find the blessing in the day and close your eyes smiling at the good things in life. And when your up several times a night, you may have to come up with more that one :-) You are surrounded by lots of women you have survived very successfully at parenting, so you know it can be done. Make sure you reach out when you need some positive girl talk! Keep the stories coming, you will be glad you wrote it down later when you can’t remember the details.

    • Oh, Lydia! You are kind. It’s a good reminder to search for the blessings because sometimes they are hard to see when your baby is in full-fledge ticked off mode at Target…
      Maybe the blessing is that it saved me loads of money because we had to get the hell out of there! :) Luckily I have some beautiful ladies in my life that have been so supportive when I needed support – I don’t know what I would have done without them.

  9. What a great story. Amelie will enjoy it – when she is in her twenties maybe ::)) I think you look that way at your kids their whole life. lv mamap

    • It’s crazy thinking that some day Amelie will be able to read her own birth story. Wish it was more romantic and less flatulent…

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